I have always been a perfectionist. For good or for bad I am one hell of a perfectionist. I don't like to try, I like to achieve, to go for the best, to aim for excellence... I would say those are the upsides.
Now, the downside is that I compare myself to others, a lot! and since this world is huge and there is always someone better, bigger, more accomplished and more experienced... That is not a healthy thing to do.
I am very much into fitness, exercise, nutrition and health. I love to challenge myself and to achieve things that at first seem impossible. I have to say that the feeling is awesome!
I had a spine surgery four years ago, my surgeon told me I would never be able to run again, and that day, while he made that declaration to me, I did one to myself... I would show him and me that I would not only run again, but I would be good at it, I would even compete; I would not only get better but I would be my very best!
Six months after my rehab was over I was starting my training again. One year after my surgery, I was running 5K races, and One year and a half after surgery I was doing my first Triathlon... I told you, I love challenges!
But then I kind of hit a plateau. My health was completely restored, I felt stronger, but I knew deep down that I could do a lot better than that.I wanted physical results that would match the hours of training and the discipline I though I was having... I am not complaining about my body, I know it is beautiful, healthy and very woman like... but it was still very far from the top... from what we all know as FIT (Hard rock abs and very low fat %).
And I started to envy the men and women around me who looked that way (i.e http://www.bodyrock.tv/). Who looked the way I wanted to look... I started to resent them, and therefore to blame myself for my less than perfect results.
I had never envied anyone before, and I did not like the feeling! at all!!! I hated the bitter flavor inside me when looking at them... and I though I could not help it, I though I had to learn to deal with it...
But then I realized I was conforming, I had stopped reaching for my full potential and that was not me!!!
I decided to stop that right away!
I made a conscious decision to replace the negative feelings with positive ones. First I had to start focusing in myself and not in others. Then, I had to accept I was making mistakes... so I had to identify them, fix them and keep up the hard work and the discipline.
These were my new resolutions, and that is exactly where I am right now.
I have been looking for diet flubs... for example, I though I was not eating sugar, but I was! it was sneaking in in several parts of my diet... I just left it for good, and now it is out of my granola, my bread, my juices...
I noticed I was eating a chocolate bar almost everyday, and there was no excuse for that! I am in big cleaning process right now, especially getting rid of bad habits.
I am asking experts for advice, I am educating myself and I am being patient (or at least, trying to be patient) in the process, because changes take time and it is important to be persistent for several months before noticing the real transformations, now I have several people that have become my serious inspiration, I want to be where they are and I want to achieve what they have achieved, but I am seriously happy they are so successful in what they do, because there is always place for improvement for us all...
It has been a long and tough process but I seriously believe I will get there...I might not be perfect but I sure want to be the best me I can be.
